she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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