You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize