We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
