I didn't shave. On purpose
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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