If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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