Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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