Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
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bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
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I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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