Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
