you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
