I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
