Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
