Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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