That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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