he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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