My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize