Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
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I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
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IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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