sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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