If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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