Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize