Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
