just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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