one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
3pm strippers are depressing
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
