How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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