I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
