I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
