well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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