I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
