After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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