tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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