forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
