the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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