there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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