I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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