Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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