I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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