when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize