Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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