Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
