she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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