I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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