I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
