3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
i think my cat just said my name.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
