like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
