I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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