Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm getting married
To pizza
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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