Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
