do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize