even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize