He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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