she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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