Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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