The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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