your parents love me but you hate me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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