maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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